Elan, Diane, and the Most Important Stuffing in the World

Update 12/2/2013: It appears that Elan Gale made up the entire airplane spat. He got a lot of us good! Here’s the thing – I still stand by *everything* I’ve stated. There are a lot of “Dianes” out there and letting them get away with being selfish and rude isn’t the answer. Call them out. No, there is no “free pass” if one is ill. Being sick is not a ticket to being an asshole. That all being said, well played Mr. Gale. Well played!

Storify (removed embed for brevity):

View the story “Elan Taking Us For a Ride?” on Storify

The holidays tend to bring out the worst in many people. Black Friday frenzy-fests are proof of some of the madness that takes hold of people. Waiting in long lines, dealing with traffic, and flight delays can test even the calmest human. But most of us take this stuff in stride and realize that this is what we simply must deal with during this season. Then there are those few who are insulted when things don’t go their way. Instead of dealing with it internally, these sorts decide to make their dissatisfaction known to all around them. Often the people hit hardest by this crap are those in service jobs trying their best to accommodate people in not-so-great conditions. Case in point: Elan, Diane, and the flight. Here is what was tweeted out by one Elan Gale – producer of ABC’s The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor Pad (link instead of embed for brevity):

View the story “Hilarious live-tweeted argument on a plane” on Storify

On Friday, a supposed “cousin” of Diane’s commented on another Storified account of the battle of notes:

Diane is my cousin. I want to thank you for not pressing charges against her for slapping you. She would have been arrested for that, and spending a few days in jail would have been a particularly cruel irony under the circumstances. I am a bit surprised you said you could hear her breathing, because Diane has stage IV small cell lung cancer. This would have been her last Thanksgiving with us. I say “would have” because she did miss her connecting flight. She arrived this morning, having spent the night in a hotel in Phoenix. Admittedly, Diane hasn’t been handling her imminent death very well, but she really was looking forward to being with us and the rest of her family- all of whom were flying in for one last Thanksgiving with her. In her defense, she was very contrite and upset about her behavior on the plane. Certainly everybody wanted to get where they were going, but perhaps she can be forgiven for thinking that her need was more pressing than most. Thanksgiving has always been Diane’s favorite holiday, and her comment about the stuffing is true- she was the “keeper of the family recipe” and all of her nieces were planning to be instructed (one more time) in the mysterious ways of Auntie Diane’s stuffing. Since she missed her connecting flight, this did not occur. We are going to try to get as many of the family together as we can tomorrow, but that is up in the air. The plans were all for yesterday. I wish you had known her before she got cancer. You would have loved her. She was bright, funny, and compassionate, and had a self-deprecating sense of humor. She taught elementary music. She loved kids. She loved to laugh. She was everybody’s favorite aunt. Actually, she still is.

We don’t know if this person really is a cousin. We’re only to take their word. But that isn’t my issue with this post. My issue is that because a person is ill (terminally or otherwise) they suddenly have a golden ticket allowing them to be an asshole whenever they please. It has been my experience that if a person is an asshole in sickness, they were an asshole in health.

Elan later posted on Tumblr his thoughts on Diane and the whole fun mess. Here is the best take-away:

I don’t care what’s going on with you: Don’t be rude to people who are doing their job.

What do others take away?

That has tipped way over into bullying, and sexist bullying at that.

It’s sexist due to the “eat my dick” comment. Elan didn’t trot on over to the woman, unzip his fly, and dangle his wedding tackle in Diane’s face. But some commenting on the above blog not only believe it, they take it a step further:

It’s amazing: here we have a story in which a man self-reports sexually harassing a woman, and nobody remarks on the sexual harassment and never ever questions his story

Yep. Sexually harassed. By writing “eat my dick”. I’ve decided to “sexually harass” thousands by inviting them to eat my ovaries. Or perhaps a simple “kiss my ass” will suffice.

Well, when all was said and done, Diane-the-center-of-the-universe ended up missing her connecting flight. Just desserts.

Tell us how you really feel!

  1. Actually, if you want Diane to have just desserts, you will be glad to know that she has stage 4 small cell lung cancer (That’s why she was wearing that mask he mentioned). This would have been her last thanksgiving with her family, but she missed her flight (which you are so happy about)…..Just desserts?

    Telling someone to be nice to others and then telling them to eat you dick is ironic…
    and yes it is sexual harassment.

    • Had you actually read my post, you would see that I have that bit of the (unsubstantiated) story included. As far as the “eat my dick” comment, it ranks up there with “kiss my ass” for sexual harassment purposes (meaning, no, it’s not).

    • Again, you obviously didn’t read my entire post. I actually link to where this supposed “cousin” made the cancer announcement. Seriously, if you’re going to comment on a person’s post, read it in its entirety first.

  2. Thanks for the calm analysis. I agree with you. The guy who tweeted was vulgar and juvenile and he could have handled it better, but the woman slapping him and abusing the air crew is beyond the pale. I’m not buying the cancer story, either. It’s too tidy.

    I don’t agree that it’s harassment, either. Some people are conflating this into misogyny and harassment. They’re just begging for an excuse to get huffy and offended and in doing so they trivialize it when it’s done for real.

    • That’s exactly what they are doing – trivializing. It’s a slap in the face (funny) to those who are the targets of actual sexual harassment.

  3. skeptic. Fair enough. You doubt the account of the cousin. Fair enough.

    But no one questions Elan’s account. And no one else has corraborated his story. Not a single passenger. Not an anonymous flight attendant or security officer. Odd, isn’t it. A skeptic would wonder about such things.

    • I tend to believe first person accounts until proven otherwise. Think of it this way (as this has been pounded into our heads by the good folks over at Freethoughtblogs), would you question or be skeptical of a woman who gave a first person account of her rape? Yeah, didn’t think so.

  4. How did he find out her name? And how did her cousin find out about it so quickly, find the Storify and leave a comment? I doubt the story is true. Sounds like he wants life to be his own reality show.

    • On more than a few flights, I have learned the names of a few of my fellow passengers. Just by being in the same area as an attendant speaking to them. The “cousin” bit I seriously doubt. His story? I’m tending toward believing it until proven otherwise.

  5. Blue Texas Woman,
    I ‘m very ambivalent about this whole thing. I’m also skeptical of the “cousin’s” post; from what I can tell it’s a very self-serving, too convenient, anonymous post that I or anyone else could have written. Unfortunately I can’t find the original post since the Storify website is being a pain.

    But as of now, I have no reason to believe Elan would fabricate this encounter. You said he has a history of that? Can you give me an example, I’m just curious. Thanks!

  6. I suspect it might be bullshit on both sides. But I think it would be most amusing if Elan was making the whole thing up, Why? Because it would mean that the “cousin” is completely full of shit, and prove that PZ et all will jump on an embrace any victim narrative without any type of verification whatsoever…. actually I don’t think we need any more proof of that, never mind.

    The moral of the story is that there is no excuse to be an asshole, and also that a person’s words are not cause to physically assault someone. I love how they immediately claim “sexual harassment” based on a generic insult, but refuse to acknowledge the woman committed a physical assault against him, though I suppose this is probably a “heroic battle against the oppressor” in this case. I’m glad he didn’t call security and press charges though.

    Also, “eat my dick” in this context is sexual harassment in the same way that telling someone “fuck you” is attempted rape. (for the FTB crowd who might read this and be confused; it isn’t).

    • Wow. Now, it’s been a few weeks since i performed fellatio but I’m fairly certain it didn’t involve actually ingesting the penis. That leans more toward cannibalism. Oh, wait…isn’t that *exactly* what Elan said in one of his notes? Perhaps we are now going with “cannibalism is sexual harassment”?

      • Yeah…It’s been a while, but telling someone to “eat my dick” isn’t giving any kind of directions. It’s like telling someone “blow me” when the last thing you want during fellatio is for someone to blow air inside your penis. Probably painful and unhygienic.

        I wonder, if Elan was a woman, and told a man “eat my pussy”, and she got slapped, would Greg have the same reaction?

  7. My mistake gor not reading that.
    But the court system says otherwise. When women in the workplace have encountered that, they have been sucessful in filing sexual harassment claims.
    No it is not the same as kiss my ass. Eat my dick is a lot more sexually suggestive. And finally, i did say if someone says to another to ne nice to other people and then say eat my dick….thats bring quite ironic

  8. You don’t have to worry about her eating/digesting his dick. You’re keeping it super busy by sucking it like a hoover right here.

    • Here’s the nifty bit, “wishingyouclaps”: you don’t know me, you don’t know what I have or have not done in life, you don’t even really know what my name is. But! If it makes you feel better to assume I’ve done nothing in life, go on :D

  9. I wouldn’t be surprised if many of those agreeing that this is harassment and bullying are the same people supporting the self-admitted child rapist on PZs site.

  10. You missed the obvious – “well, we know what ‘wishingyouclaps’ has contributed to society, and I’d get that treated if I were you.” or something like that.

  11. There is every reason to question the veracity of his claim, this guy is a reality TV producer. And there are many times when it would be perfectly reasonable to question a claim of rape.

  12. Thank you for saying that just because somebody is sick/disabled doesn’t give them the right to treat other people like shit. It doesn’t. My grandfather is 82 years old, is on dialysis 5 days a week and has stage four cancer. Not to mention heart problems. He can go at any time and he would NEVER treat a working class citizen (or anyone for that matter) like shit. Shame on Diane and her family for using that as an excuse for her piss poor behavior.

  13. Pingback: Kill ‘Em With Kindness | IdeaLogical Mom

  14. Funny that you stand by everything that you said, admin, as you were WRONG on everything. You are a very bad skeptic.

    • Oh, do tell, Blue Texas Woman! Exactly how was I wrong in expressing my opinion on something that was posted out by another person? I was wrong stating “There are a lot of “Dianes” out there and letting them get away with being selfish and rude isn’t the answer. Call them out. No, there is no “free pass” if one is ill. Being sick is not a ticket to being an asshole.”? Or I was wrong stating “because a person is ill (terminally or otherwise) they suddenly have a golden ticket allowing them to be an asshole whenever they please. It has been my experience that if a person is an asshole in sickness, they were an asshole in health”?

      Perhaps I should be like so many others who, upon finding out it was a hoax, flip and decide Elan was evil all along? Maybe I should have been completely dishonest and said in my update that, because it was a hoax, I have decided to go completely the opposite way and kiss the asses of the “Dianes” in this world?

      Nah. I will stand by what I expressed in this post. And despite this event, I will still lean heavily toward believing a first person account until proven untruthful (psst – something handy to keep in mind when a gal pal tells you she’s been raped).

      • I think what she’s referring to is you not be skeptical about the entire story. Saying that generally you believe first person accounts….

        • Hard to tell when she simply says “you were WRONG on everything” in relation to me saying I still stand by what I’ve stated. Now, had I been told a story that was second or third hand (“my best friend told me that her boyfriend…” yadda-yadda), I’d be skeptical from the get-go.

    • Blue Texas Woman: And I do. And I employ it daily. Here’s an example: my friend/co-worker tells me she was raped. Are you saying I shouldn’t believe her and employ my skepticism then? So, as I said, I will tend toward believing a first person account until proven untrue.

  15. As a woman who has been raped, I find your comparison of this story to rape to be rhetorically weak and ethically abhorrent. But keep trying to make that thin argument to cover your bad judgement.

    • I’ve dealt with rape as well. You can have your opinions and I’ll have mine. The fun bit is this – you can simply leave the website :) No harm, no foul!

    • Yes, they do. And at this point I’m not sure why you keep coming back here. You don’t agree, you’ve stated you don’t agree, and that should be it. So, off ya go :)

  16. Hey,

    I did read the article this time…….noticed the little change you made at the start
    And I too still stand by what I said……’telling someone to be nice to others and then being an ass and saying eat my dick to them IS ironic’.
    You lose credibility when you do that. I’m not against calling out people for obnoxious behavior and agree with you that we should but when you are obnoxious in return that doesn’t make you a ‘hero’.
    Plus trying to give an aggressive person alcohol to calm them down? That’s not just ironic but also pretty stupid
    But the story is fake so ‘oh well’
    Adios :)

    • You know, I agree. It doesn’t make you a ‘hero’. Still, I’d be dishonest if I said I didn’t yearn to do *some* of the same things that were depicted in his fictional story :)

  17. Well played? Are you kidding me?

    Let’s imagine this scenario for a second. If you were a woman travelling with Elan (his date or partner for example) and you both overheard another passenger (middle-aged woman) being rude to the staff, and your lovely date/partner Elan responded by sending her a note and telling her to “eat my dick”, would you think that this is ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR? For a grown man?

    Hmmm my reaction would be to immediately classify Elan as a psychopath and to get the hell away from him as soon as possible.

    Observing someone else’s behaviour that you deem to be rude in some way, does not give you an excuse to behave like an even ruder moron. If I was travelling with someone and they started threatening another passenger (even if I thought that passenger was also being rude) by sending aggressive notes and alcoholic drinks, I would find that behaviour threatening and insane. I would tell them to take a chill pill and to behave like a gentleman. If I was the woman in this situation, I would make a complaint to the airline that another passenger is harassing me and I would have him charged.

    Elan Gale is a bully and a complete misogynist. I can’t imagine that he has any successful relationships with women because of his behaviour.

    I can’t believe another woman would celebrate this type of behaviour.

    It’s a sad sad world we live in.